Minor Leagues, Major Promotions: The Wild World of MiLB Marketing
Britney Spears Baby Safety Night, and more!
“Is baseball boring?”
If you’ve ever watched “America’s Pastime” before, this thought has probably crossed your mind.
To be clear: baseball isn’t boring. It’s more of an… acquired taste.1 Nevertheless, there’s one thing that isn’t dull about the sport: how baseball teams market themselves. More specifically, how minor league baseball teams market themselves.
So, in honour of the little organizations that could, this week, we’re exploring some of the most wild, outlandish, brilliant, and idiotic promotions that minor league baseball teams that have ever thought up.
Buckle in. It’s about to get weird.
Nobody Night
In 2002, the Charleston RiverDogs had a record turnout at one of their home games. For some reason, that didn’t sit well with them.
Days later, when fans showed up for another game, they found the stadium padlocked. Turns out, the team was out to get another record — this time for the least-attended baseball game in history.
It was all part of a promotion called “Nobody Night”, which, predictably, meant that all of the team’s fans had to watch the game from beyond the outfield fence.
It wasn’t all bad, though. The team set up a tent outside the stadium and sold discounted beer and food until the fifth inning, when the record was officially recognized and fans were let in.
I, Tonya
Tell me if you’ve heard this story before:
In 1994, a star figure skater is on the precipice of olympic glory. Then, out of nowhere, she’s implicated in an assault of her rival, Nancy Kerrigan.
If you’re thinking of the Tonya Harding affair, you’d be correct.
Even though it was her husband who orchestrated the assault — one in which Kerrigan’s leg was savagely broken by a bat — Harding was later banned from pro figure skating, and has been relegated to the proverbial hall of shame ever since.
Except… not entirely.
Years later, the Charleston RiverDogs (the same team who orchestrated “Nobody Night”) put on “Tonya Harding Bat Day”, an evening in Harding’s honour. Despite it being (mostly) at her expense, Harding actually showed up, and happily signed baseball bats for fans.
A for Awful
Back in 2003, the Altoona Curve — the double-A affiliate of the Pittsburgh Pirates — decided to hold something called “Awful Night”.
True to the name, the team did everything they could to ensure fans had a terrible experience. David Hasselhoff’s ‘music’ was blared on the stadium’s speakers, ticket holders could only receive autographs from the ballpark cook, and instead of bobbing for apples, guests had to bob for onions.
To top it all off, the team did a giveaway: the first 1000 fans who bought tickets received a photo of the GM’s recently removed gall bladder. Legend has it one (supremely) lucky fan received the gall bladder in a post-game raffle.
Hit Me (?) Baby, One More Time
In 2006, Britney Spears was photographed driving with her infant son in her lap.
It was… problematic, to say the least.
Spears claimed she only did as a means of escaping the paparazzi, but many people were perturbed nonetheless. The Newark Bears were no exception.
Not long after, the team held “Britney Spears Baby Safety Night”. Any fan that showed up dressed as a baby, brought a baby, or even just had a baby toy with them got in for free. Most importantly, everybody who attended the game was provided pamphlets on infant safety.
Who wants to be a (Turkish) Millionaire?
Like many MiLB teams, the Nashua Pride weren’t known for having deep pockets, so it came as a surprise when they held a “Who wants to be a Millionaire” night back in 2002.
Honouring the iconic TV show of the same name, the Pride offered the princely sum of a million bucks to the fan who won a trivia contest at the game.
Sounds simple enough, right? Well, there was a catch. It turned out the night was actually “Who Wants to Be a Turkish Millionaire” night. Instead of one million U.S. dollars, the winner of the contest was awarded one million Turkish lira.
The exchange rate at the time? About one dollar.
American as Apple Pie
In 2007, the Hudson Valley Renegades wanted to recruit more international fans, so they held the Springsteen-esque “Born in the USA” night, where a hopeful US-citizen competed against homegrown Americans in things like apple pie-eating and corn shucking. If the contestant won, the team promised to pay for their US citizenship application.
Alas, the contestant in question didn’t win, but they were made the team’s ‘ambassador’ for the rest of the season as a consolation prize.
Others
A few years back, the Orem Owlz held a game in honour of Larry Thomas, the actor who played ‘The Soup Nazi’ on Seinfeld. Thomas threw out the first pitch, joined the broadcast booth for an inning, signed more than 1000 ladles for fans, and even served soup to guests at a local restaurant — only the polite ones, though.
In 2008, the Quad Cities River Bandits offered fans a deal that would last a lifetime — sort of. If they got a free tattoo of the team logo, fans got free entry to games all season. 28 fans ponied up, so they brought the promotion back a year later, and 47 more people got inked.
After a local nun was banned from her parish for giving too many massages, The St. Paul Saints recruited her, and ‘Sister Roz’ has been giving back rubs to lucky fans ever since.
The Fresno Grizzlies once ran “Second Chance Night”. Fans who brought in parking tickets and promised (yep, promised) to never get another got in free. Probation officers also got entrance without charge.
The Lowell Spinners once ran a two-part game promotion called “politically correct/incorrect night”. The first game, details of the stadium were changed to be more socially conscious, only for the following game to be the exact opposite: the team put up signs that said “men only” in certain sections, and handed out kitchenware for female attendants.
Grossest of all, the West Virginia Power once tried to do a “Salute to Indoor Plumbing Night”. The team wanted to close all of their working bathrooms, and force guests to use porta-potties for the entire evening. The State Health department 86’d the idea because it was a massive health code violation, but the team worked around it by dressing up employees as plumbers and tossing around mashed up brownies (i.e. fake poo). The team has since rebranded as the Dirty Birds. Who could’ve seen that coming?
Thanks for reading!
I hope you enjoyed this edition of Ballsy Branding!
Watch a White Sox game for four hours and you’ll see what I mean.
The MILB really is interesting! The Britney Spears one cracked me up!
Great one Angus. I really enjoyed it.
Very funny Angus!